English people never bother to learn foreign languages because they know that foreigners all have to learn english.the british people are so peace-loving that they have devoted the last thousand years to knocking the hell out of people who dont like peace.English parliaments always have to parties; the one in power and the opposition.Nationals vote one party in to power and then the other is elected to set right the mess created by the first party. this is known as perpetual motion and takes place about twice a decade.England is a country surrounded by hot water.It"s only a small island, but the british once had an empire on which the sun never sets and England has people upon which the sun never shines.
Englishmen are known by their bowler hats,tweed suits,umbrellas and moustaches. the women are different----they dont wear bowler hats.English food is wonderfully simple;we write all our menus in french and cook everything in water.
There are nearly sixty million English people, with eighty million civil servants to take care of them. civil servants in England are recognised by there breast pocket full of pens,pencils and teacups. Rain is one of the principal products of england. its the only country in the world where the dew has rapids. Smokers and drinkers bring thre treasury $1,000,000,000 per year.So if every one stop boozing and smoking, then the government will have to look for some other kind of job. English people are the most law abiding people on earth. juvenile delinquency is practically unknown over the age of forty- five. Although places in Britain are rarely less than a few miles by car on the highways. Traffic is is so thick that if you once leave town to live else where you virtually emigrate. Because it takes between a week and ten days to do forty miles by car. If all the cars in Britain where laid end to end---preferably in a scrap yard---there will be enough to feed half the population of China for the next ten years.if only chinese people didnt detest tomato soup.
Englishmen are notorious lovers;it only takes the average man ten years to ask the woman he loves for a kiss. sometimes he proposes to a girl in maybe a year and a half--but not marriage.Englishwomen are mainly the horsey type,
spartans and outdoor amazons. So englishmen go out with foreign beauty contest winners and the horsey Englishwomen go out with themselves.
( written by Mayowa olufemi Alabi http://www.saintmayor.blogspot.com) get more of this jokes by clicking here http://www.greatestjokesonline.blogspot.com
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